Saturday, 17 March 2012
More people came in and out, in and out. My Dad cried and sqeezed my hand a little too hard, i couldn't pull away though and had to feel his sweaty grasp. My brother whispered in my ear, 'your going to wake up, just open your eyes and wake up!' His voice buzzed so much, i could hardly hear him. Even with all these people here, the forever checking nurses and doctors, i still felt painfully lonely and distressed. I lay there doing nothing, but i wasn't bored. I was worried. Worried when my family came in and cried, worried when the staff came in and felt my pulse with their firm, uncaring grasp. Sometimes i forgot where i was and tried to sit up. Then i remembered and felt horribly empty. I don't know how i was being fed, but i imagined this weird, white tube going into my belly button, feeding me potatos and squished up things. My mouth and throat were really dry, and my mouth felt glued together and i couldn't open it. I felt like my body had ditched me. But over all i felt regret. I tried to remember what happened, and saw these visions of a big truck. What would be happening if i hadn't been on that bike. I would of been at home happy. I couldn't exactly remember home though. I had these weird turns where i couldn't remember anything. And somethings stayed forgotten, i couldn't even remember my 2 friends, their voices were silent and their faces were blurred when i tried to remember them. It was a odd feeling and even though i tried and tried i still couldn't remember. I felt lost, my brain going out of controll, wondering helplessly in a world too big.